A. has been away since the Friday before last, and it feels like it has been our longest break ever. There is just something about this particular break that has felt sort of endless. Of course, this hasn’t really been the longest one, seeing as she was off on maternity leave last year, but it … Continue reading
A Fork In The Road – Choosing A Path
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Endings: Standing On The Brink Of The Unknown
Being in therapy is being in a relationship. Therefore it follows that ending therapy is an as complex and complicated – and sometimes painful – process as ending any other relationship. There are loose ends and jagged edges to deal with, memories – good and bad – to look back at, and a struggle to … Continue reading
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Surviving An Ending: Starting Over
Finishing with A. was always going to be immensely painful and would inevitably leave me with a whole host of scary feelings, and nowhere to put them. So, in a bid to keep myself from harm’s way I decided to give myself a time-out immediately after The Ending. Chickening out of allowing any kind of … Continue reading
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Reconnecting
I’ve been writing this update in my head for about a month, only I’ve not got down to typing it up. I am struggling to remember where I was at, emotionally, when I posted my last update, but I know that it wasn’t a very nice place. Things sort of spun out of control for a … Continue reading
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The Beginning Of A Break
Had my final pre-therapy break session yesterday, and it was hard. Or, maybe hard isn’t the right word? It was emotional. Not emotional as in floods-of-tears-streaming-down-my-face-fifty-minutes-straight, but it certainly stirred things up inside of me in a big way. So, P. and I spent most of the session talking about all the different feelings this … Continue reading
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Hearing the Littles – A Therapy Break Update
It is far too early on a Sunday morning for me, or indeed anyone, to be awake. But, I am. Anxiety is stretching my nerves to the point of breaking, and I have been unable to sleep for about forty hours. Insomnia isn’t out of the norm for me; it is part of my pattern. … Continue reading
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Starting Over After A Break
* “Lily, oh Lily – I don’t feel safe I feel that life has blown a great big hole through me.” And she said, “Child, you must protect yourself, You can protect yourself; I’ll show you how with fire..” … Continue reading
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Twenty-fourteen – A Year Of Changes & Challenges
I thought I’d make one final push to get an update out before the end of the year. I’m not in a great place, hence radio silence on most channels, but sometimes that’s when the best blog posts come out, so let’s hope for the best. Could be nothing, could be something. It’s been a … Continue reading
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Progress And Pain – Parenting My Inner Child
It’s been a long time. It’s been too long, really. I suppose that I just needed a proper break from things. Or, rather, I needed to use what little energy I could muster to deal with the bare essentials, hence largely withdrawing from the world, both online and in my day-to-day interactions with family and … Continue reading
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Found Some Words..
OK, so I’ll admit it; I wrote that heading in the hope that I will find some words now that I start writing.. There are no guarantees at this stage, especially regarding the quality of said words..but, I’ll give it a whirl just the same.. [Bear with, bear with..] So, I made it though The … Continue reading
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From Swan Lake to Daft Punk – A Post About Psychotherapy Breaks
Every time I upload a new post I do so with the intention of posting another update soon thereafter, but it just never seems to happen that way.. I suppose I will have to own that this happens in part because I slightly lack the discipline to stick to a set publishing schedule, but, also, … Continue reading
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When Your Therapist Goes Away
Here we interrupt the regular scheduled programme for a Holiday Special: “When Your Therapist Abandons You” Yes, it’s here once again – that darkest time of the year when your therapist has almost certainly gone off and left you. My guess is that you’re just about half way through it by now, and at … Continue reading
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A Much Delayed Update
It has been such a very long time since I last posted anything on here, it feels all but impossible to try to catch you all up. And maybe it’s not really the most important thing in the world that I do? If you’ve been following this blog for a little while, you’ll probably already … Continue reading
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I Survived A Therapy Break
We’ve been on a break, my therapist and I. A Pesach / Easter / training combo break. Leading up to the break I was very aware of Little S. inside having a lot of feelings about P. going away. This, even though, I – or should I write we..? – were also going to be … Continue reading
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